7th October 2010, Thursday(Thinking)

....

i was thinking a lot recently...

i was thinking that

where do i find my true happiness

and my true heart's essence belongs to...

do it belongs to the darkness or the light

its just keep confusing me....

thanks to all my friends and relative who take a good care of me

i appreciate that help from you all

just that

it's been bugging me all the time

why should i have this kind of life

being treated like a doll in school

being used by friends who i trust

being bullied by darkness

being trapped in the darkness

i feel like...

like...wanna get rid of my life

i think what i've done is all useless

all those quotes i made

helps i did

i think no one will appreciate my help

not even a single one

their evil hearts

their darkness which sprouts and grows within it

all the lies

and fake smiles

I'M TIRED OF THESE!!!

i just feel like want to kill everyone

not a single bit of human left in my sight

who those treated me like a doll and betrayed my help

is there anyway to find my true heart's essence and happiness?

is there anyway to find my true self?

i was even thinking

what will happen to me even if i die

i don't think i will die in peace

life...

darkness..

betrayed...

used...

i'm tired of these

what i only wanted is

freedom

happiness

friends

and...

the hidden person who always speak to me by my side every time i felt i was useless

to be reality

reality...

freedom...

happiness...

friends...

true essence...

the light...

Garden of Edens...

what is this all about?

what does my life want me to do...

so i can find them?!?!?!?!

TELL ME!!!!