exam has past...
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-Final Ultimate Challenge-
final round is coming soon for all FORM 3 students
that are aged 15/16(for remove students)
i was still wondering that if am i able to get what i wanted....
for my loved ones?...
for my sake of SQUARE-ENIX?...
for the sake of my life? ...
or maybe for the sake of my everything?...
saa.. who knows...
we will find out when the time come...
but we will still need to send the darkness back to whence it came...
problem is how?...
we don't know....
all we did is just struggle...fight...carry the pain....letting our heart as a burden of ourselves...
is this what suppose a human to be?
i was always questioning myself
why is human born and why is earth born in this existence?
why do we have to struggle even for what we wanted that is PEACE for our lives?
why?... i am always asking this question to myself... but no answer....
do we even think that life is that simple?
die = die
live = live
nothing = nothing
is it that simple?
well i suppose it's not...
when we die we might suffer more pain than we have in this earth...
when we live we are still struggling for help and answer in our lives
if we live up nothing? well i guess more bad things will happen...
like some other people with brainless acts
e.g. toying their beloved friends around
raping other people for no reasons
or more seriously
killing other people even if they didn't do anything to them...
is that what a human suppose to think?
vengeance....hatred....fate....even darkness is included in this world....
is there always a chaos for this world?
why is there such existence in this world?
i wonder....
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-Animes-
on October, my birthday month...
will be releasing a lots of anime such as シャナのシャクガン（Shakugan No Shana）the minutes i've been waiting for all this long time...
and other more animes that i don't know
but there's something i really hate about this month....
the final challenge
will crash into that month together with my birthday and my present from the anime companies....
i don't know what i can say...
why am i fated to be like this?
why?....
there's no one who can tell me the answer... but there is always one person who has been watching for us... GOD
do you think GOD really exists?
well i suppose i don't really believe it
GOD has played me once...
and tricked me to a more deeper darkness....
hell yeah... that's what GOD suppose to do?
i wonder....
is there really such things as "JESUS" or whatever is it?
well i don't think it's true....
well i don't think it's true....
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-Cosplay Events-
well i planned to cosplay next year... i hope my plan works....
but still... on September, a lots of things will happen... hope no hard and harsh memories flow back to my brain or else i'll be dead meat and roasted...
there's always something... i wanna try... that is cosplay... but i see it's too harsh for me...
since so many things happened in my past...
i can't forget things so easy...
betrayed by someone who you really trust...
toyed by them, it's really a sad case...
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-Hatred,Fate,Pain and Betrayed with Cold Heart-
like what i stated before this topic,
i was betrayed and toyed with a cold heart...
they don't even think about what and how i feel...
i've been carrying the pain all by myself, struggling for it....
carrying this hatred all by myself, looking at myself as a burden of the world....
not long ago... i've met a girl... but she seems friendly in the outer look...
well, whatever she thinks of me that is : spammer
well it's her fault who don't reply my message and looks like a spam...
and she said i almost gave her a heart attack...
hell yes i love that... yeah right like i even say that it's true
i don't know why so many people don't wanna look at other people's feeling before they doubt someone...
like what they are capable of or used to it...
or they don't even think about other people's thinking and respect them...
they just doubt them in a bad way...
they said i am not open-hearted...
but isn't THEY are the one who's not?!
they don't think out of people's feeling and doubt them every second and use them...
and they still call themselves "FRIENDS"
isn't this a REAL JOKE?
well whatever is it... they are still nothing but a piece of paper that cannot be recycled....
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The sadness of a person will be carried until they leave this world...
The burden will be still there...
But the memories will be kept in the true hearts of friends...
Nothing can defeat true friends from the bottom of their true hearts...
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